Top Ten Signs Santa Would Make a Great 5th Grade Rebbe

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Lubavitcher Rebbe image taken from somewhere. Note: I’m NOT trying to make the Rabbi Schneerson ZT”L to be Santa Claus (though the similarities are there 🙂  – RH).

10. His house is filled with a disproportionate amount of little people running around in it

9. He has been driving the same beat-up wagon with wood paneling for years

8. “Ho, Ho, Ho” is a clear guttural sound from a yeshiva chain-smoking past

7. He spends his vacations in a bungalow colony up north

6. He never seems to get older year after year

5. His wife, Mrs. Claus, has no first name (and never leaves the house)

4. White Beard, big stomach, jolly laugh…must be from Lakewood

3. He grades children by asking rhetorically, “Do you think you have been good?”

2. As kids grow older, his “cool” appeal fades

1. He always seems to be wearing the same suit to work everyday

Some More

  • Both dont expect payment in this gilgul.
  • Santa and a great fifth grade rebbe? Both myths.
  • Has a good excuse to put little boys on his lap
  • AS THE KIDS GET WISER THEY STOP BELIEVING IN HIM!
  • He gives out prizes to the good kids

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