After the assassination of Tsar Alexander II of Russia, a government official in Ukraine menacingly addressed the local rabbi, “I suppose you know in full detail who was behind it.” “Ach,” the rabbi replied, “I have no idea, but the…
Merry Mishmash
Basic Rules for Driving in Israel
by Rafael (Rafi) Hecht • • 0 Comments
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Israeli driver never uses them. 2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by…
The Silly World of Chelm and The Man in the Plastic Bag
by Rafael (Rafi) Hecht • • 0 Comments
Once upon a time in the silly world of Chelm, Shepsel Cohen, the town barber wanted to visit his relatives in Minsk. However, poor Shepsel needed to buy them a gift and didn’t know what to get them. He also…
The Jew Reading Der Stürmer
by The Chelmisher Rav • • 0 Comments
Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. “Herr Altmann,” said his secretary, “I notice you’re reading Der Stürmer! I can’t understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or,…
Fool’s Paradise
by The Chelmisher Rav • • 0 Comments
What is paradise like? Would people live happily in paradise? Atzel dreams to live in paradise and becomes ill. To the grief of his parents, he is willing to die. Why does Alzel want to go to paradise so much?…
Passover Mishmash
by Rafael (Rafi) Hecht • • 0 Comments
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what…
The Bus Driver in Heaven
by The Chelmisher Rav • • 0 Comments
A Rabbi dies and goes up to the gates of heaven. Before he’s let in, the angel in charge has to consult with God for a long period of time if he deserves a place in heaven. As the Rabbi…
The Grain Shortage
by Rafael (Rafi) Hecht • • 0 Comments
An Israeli, a Brit, a Russian, a Vietnamese, and an American are sitting in a restaurant. A reporter comes by and asks, “Excuse me, but can I get your opinion on the recent grain shortage in the third world?” The…
The Bust of Lenin
by The Chelmisher Rav • • 0 Comments
An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is…
Passover Stringency Humor
by The Chelmisher Rav • • 0 Comments
By Grand Rabbi Yisroel Groundfliegel shalit”a, Self-Described Halachik Authority and Successful Lower East Side Real Estate Developer Here are the halachik issues for Pesach 5771: 1. Braces Those people who normally wear braces while consuming chometzdike food, (food not kosher for Passover) must have their braces kashered…