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Shidduch Dating Advice: Some Questions Posed by Rav Shmuel Rozovsky

I recently found this article on Revach.net [1]. I found it to be so inspiring that I thought to share it with you. Unfortunately there was no author attributed to it so I cannot give credit to the author of the actual article. -Rafi

One day a Jew from Yerushalayim traveled to Bnei Brak to ask the legendary Rosh Yeshiva of Ponevezh, Rav Shmuel Rozovsky, about a boy in the Yeshiva for his daughter who reached eligible age.

He asked the Rosh Yeshiva the following:

After receiving a favorable report in regard to his questions he thanked Rav Shmuel for his time and began to leave. At that point Rav Shmuel in his gentle and noble manner turned to father and said, until now you asked me questions, is it okay if I ask you some questions? The father agreed.

“It seems to me that you are inquiring about the boy for your daughter and you seem happy with the report I gave you. You obviously think that all your daughter needs to know is whether he comes on time and he is a Lamdan. However it is entirely possible that your daughter would like to know if he is a mentch.”

It would seem fitting that you ask me:

“I think,” said Rav Shmuel, “that you need to check these things out. If he is spoiled and he arrives home in the afternoon and does not like the food your daughter worked hard to prepare, his face will crumple in obvious dissatisfaction. Will your daughter then be happy that her father checked the boy out with the Rosh Yeshiva who told him that he knows every Ktzos and Rebbi Akiva Eiger in Bava Basra? Will you daughter say, it’s true that he has no manners and no social skills but I respect him anyway because he knows all the intricacies of the sugya of the bees and the mustard in Bava Basra?”

This was Rav Shmuel’s approach to finding a fine boy for your daughter.


Truth be told, no girl really cares about how well he learns as much as he is pleasant to LIVE WITH. The boy is not marrying a Shas, he’s marrying a girl!