Category: Merry Mishmash

The Pogrom Fear

During the days of oppression and poverty of the Russian shtetls, one village had a rumour going around: a Christian girl was found murdered near their village. Fearing a pogrom, they gathered at the synagogue. Suddenly, the rabbi came running…

Why the Jews?

After the assassination of Tsar Alexander II of Russia, a government official in Ukraine menacingly addressed the local rabbi, “I suppose you know in full detail who was behind it.” “Ach,” the rabbi replied, “I have no idea, but the…

Basic Rules for Driving in Israel

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Israeli driver never uses them. 2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by…

The Jew Reading Der Stürmer

Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. “Herr Altmann,” said his secretary, “I notice you’re reading Der Stürmer! I can’t understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or,…

Fool’s Paradise

What is paradise like? Would people live happily in paradise? Atzel dreams to live in paradise and becomes ill. To the grief of his parents, he is willing to die. Why does Alzel want to go to paradise so much?…

Passover Mishmash

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what…

The Grain Shortage

An Israeli, a Brit, a Russian, a Vietnamese, and an American are sitting in a restaurant. A reporter comes by and asks, “Excuse me, but can I get your opinion on the recent grain shortage in the third world?” The…