Shidduch Advice from Reb Yaakov Kamanetzky

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A recent Hamodia Kinyan L’Shabbos magazine contained a most interesting article about Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky, ZT”L.

The following is from R. Joseph Elias recollections of his interactions with Reb Yaakov. It is yet another illustration of Reb Yaakov’s brilliance and sensitivity to the plight of others.

“When I became the principal of Breuer’s Seminary, I often came to him with she’eilos. And he always showed extreme sensitivity to people. A girl once came to me in great distress. She was a very frum girl, who had outgrown her family’s spiritual standards. Her father was not a talmid chacham, and to make matters worse there was no money. She was crying. She told me, ‘I so much want to marry a talmid chacham, but I’m not being suggested such shidduchim. Why isn’t Hashem giving this to me?’ I didn’t know what to answer, but I told her that I would ask Rav Yaakov.

“He heard the question, and then said to me, ‘I can’t tell her why. I’m not a navi. But I can give her an answer to her question. If she can’t get the kind of shidduch she wants, let her marry a fine Jewish boy and create her owntalmidei chachamim.

“It was the only possible answer, and it satisfied her! Beyond the wisdom of the reply, I marveled at its sensitivity. When a person was in pain, he couldn’t just refuse to answer.”