Hold My Bags
Hold My BagsYeshivish for “I agree:” “I hold.”
Yeshivish for “I disagree:” “I hear.”
I hold = my opinion is…
I hear = I don’t give a sh**
“Where are you holding?” = “What gemara are you currently learning”
“where are you holding” = “how are you currently thinking/feeling about this issue or topic
“I hold by Rav X that …” = I follow the psak of Rav. X that ….”
“I hear” is universal for “you don’t know what you are talking about, but my time is not worth arguing with you”
“It’s brought down” = the source is.
“It’s brought down” is the scholarly equivalent of starting a story with “I know a guy who knows a guy…,” , as in “my rebbe brought down this opinion”
“You’re saying good, say better.” = “You almost got it.”
Oy, oy, khídesh! (meaning ḥidush), plus table banging for emphasis.
“Okay, let’s bentch” = “Thank you for coming , its time for you to leave”.
“Excuse me, sir, I see you ate a few seats down from us. Would you mind joining our zimun?” in yeshivish is “Will you be mitztaref?”
“Can I chap arayn?” = “Excuse me, would you mind if I get a ride with you guys?”
Have who/what to rely on.
‘Closing’ the lights = turning them off
Meds
“Kallah pills” = Yeshivish for oral contraceptives
“Tzom kal pills” = Caffeine supposotories
In English, “I’m eating by the Schwartzes” means “I’m eating by the next-door neighbor of the Schwartzes.”
A traveling Rabbi once gave a shmooze at my Yeshiva where he started by saying, “There’s a word I hear a lot today that I really dislike. I dislike it so much I won’t even say it, I’ll only spell it. F-U-,” at this point all the bochurim were tittering and the manahel’s eyes starting bugging out, “-N. Fun. What is this fun?” etc. Big lolz.
Falls out on = falls on, As in: “When Yom Kippur falls out on Shabbos, the kiddush really sucks.”
PSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!! = “nice job!”
*dismissive hand gesture* = “What’s the big deal?”
“Eating by” = “eating at.”
{do a thumb flip} = When you’re making a point
“mmm mmm hhmmm ahuh” = thank you for calling, but I can’t talk right now because i’m in the middle of morning prayers even though it’s 11 in the morning because I had to do carpool.
“Onchuldeks” = pardon my inexcusable behavior
“Heresy” and “men’s rights” = feminism
I agree = I’m maskim.
Unlikely = not shayech
Really? = takeh? Or azay?
I’m amazed = I chopped (געחאפט) hispaylus
Someone else’s turn…
Yeshivish for pretty much any preposition (with, at, chez, according to, etc.) = by, as in “I’m staying BY his house. Should be AT or IN.”
“Out of town” = the entire planet outside of Brooklyn
As in: I took a date to Top of the Sixes on 5th Avenue in New York, many years ago. We’re sitting at a table, near a window, when a toddler runs between us, all excited to look out. His parents come running behind, mortified, and Mom explains that they’re here from Florida, and the kid has never seen anything like this. She asks if we’re from around here. Before I can say anything, my date says “No, we’re from Flatbush.”
“At risk” = out of the box
“Prodigy” or illuy = stacking blocks at 12 months
“Shkoyach” = thank you
“Baruch Hashem” = yeshivish for I’ve actually been doing terribly.
“Chasdei Hashem” = Yeshivish for doing well.
“Eretz Yisroel” = Yeshivish for Medinat Yisrael Reishit Tzemichat Ge’ulateinu or the State of Israel
Ain hachi nami = I don’t even want to bother discussing it
Mah nafshach = what’s with you man? As in, what are you smoking?
M’heichi teisi = you’re an idiot
Limeye nafka minah = why should I care
“Do you have a cigarette?” = “I’m broke as sh*t”
Phrases not even worth translating
A hundert pertzent!
Thats so prost = thats kinda hot
Slide me across the desk the tefillin bag.
It’s geshmak!
Don’t be a Pey-Tzadi!
Games
Yeshivish for Candy Land: “Kosher Land”.
Yeshivish for After Eights: “Paskez Chocolate Mint Thins”
Yeshivish for Lego: “Binyan blocks”
Don’t forget Lakewoodopoly over Monopoly (it’s a real game).
Honorable Mention: Videos