Top 10 Proposed Jewish Press Title Rewrites

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jewishpress-mainlogoI recall practically growing up reading the Jewish Press on Shabbosim. When I was younger I started out reading the comics and kids section that was always smack in the middle of the paper. Later on that matured to reading the rest of the paper, then noting that other than the News in Israel, the rest of the paper was pretty much full of op-eds. I guess that’s what happens when you let 20 Jews voice 30 opinions!

That said, seeing how the Jewish Press has changed over the last few years, here are some proposed changes to long-standing titles that should be in the spirit of the direction they are headed.

  1. Jewish DepressFamily Issues
  2. Jewish ImpressHalacha and Hashkafa
  3. Jewish DistressIm Yirtzeh Hashem By You
  4. Jewish CompressMagazine
  5. Jewish StressNews and Views
  6. Jewish Mess – In Depth Columns
  7. Jewish Fress – Food and Recipes
  8. Jewish Dress – Ads to the Hat Box and other Jewish Clothing Stores
  9. Jewish CaressMarriage and Relationships
  10. Jewish Address – Classifieds Section

One final anecdote: someone once asked the Satmar Rebbe if he was allowed to take the Jewish Press in the bathroom. The Satmar Rebbe responded, “Just the opposite: is one allowed to take it OUT of the bathroom?” 🙂