Top 10 Reasons You Just Might Get Kicked Out of Yeshiva

kicked-out1. Girls and/or Porn

Hey, it’s tough for a boy being “in the freezer” and not being able to mingle with the opposite gender. Some take the plunge and date girls, some resort to more private methods. The result usually is the same.

2. Dress Code or Lack Thereof

In 8th grade I once personally saw a kid wearing a jeans jacket, jeans shirt and white shoes get publicly humiliated in the schoolyard by the principal, telling everyone how not to dress. In a separate incident I heard a kid wearing a polo shirt to school that mandated button-down shirts, who was then sent home until the shirt was changed. Just saying.

3. Getting into Fights

As a kid this was something I personally had a penchant of doing, though I’m not a violent person by nature. Somehow I ended up getting in fights as a kid and was the one sent to the principal’s office over other kids.

4. Getting Put from Resource Room to Resource Room Due to Failing Exams

An extension of “getting into fights,” this type of distraction usually leads to not being able to focus on exams of schoolwork, resulting in failing tests. When that happens the school may opt to send you from resource room to resource room. This isn’t a direct cause of expulsion, but it’s definitely a precursor.

5. TV in the House, Non-Kosher Cellphone and Getting Caught

In some schools having a TV in the house is a big no-no as is having a cellphone with text/internet access. The rationale here is to allow the kid to focus on his studies with as few distractions as possible, but oy vey to the consequences!

6. Not Wearing a Black Hat in Public

This is moreso for the very strict, black-hat places. I once heard of a parent being called by the Yeshiva because his son one time didn’t wear a black hat while crossing the street. It’s true, I’m not making this up!

7. Lateness/Missing classes

Lateness/absences is considered to be a disease, and too many of those can get one expelled.

8. Contraband – CDs/iPods, Laptops, Microwaves, Cellphones

In some yeshivish yeshivas CDs, laptops and microwaves are all forbidden. Laptops are bad when one is only learning Torah and using it for online research and emails are not required. CDs might have goyishe music, and iPods can connect to a wireless internet. Cellphones can be a distraction in class

Microwaves/hot plates generally are taboo in ones dorm room. Some kids in the past went around it by using a hot iron to cook, make popcorn, etc., destroying the filament in the process as the filament wasn’t designed for such intense labor.

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9. Smoking/Drinking

Smoking is a bad habit. Shortens ones life. 100 years ago smoking was permitted and there are stories of Yeshiva guys shnorring cigarettes from their peers. Drinking usually presents legal issues as the Rabbis can get in trouble for allowing students to drink on their premises.

10. Going to Movies, the Mall, the Library, etc.

These places can potentially have harmful influences and girls (heaven forfend!). Some Yeshivas are that strict and have their spies snoop around select malls, some aren’t. Govern yourself accordingly.